Encouraging Children to Express Appreciation

In early childhood classrooms, appreciation doesn’t always sound the way adults expect it to sound.

Young children feel kindness long before they know how to put it into words. They feel when someone helps them. They feel when a friend includes them. They feel when a teacher notices them. What they often don’t have yet is the language to express it.

And that’s where we come in.

I’ve learned over the years that appreciation is not something we teach through a single activity. It grows through daily moments. It grows through modeling. It grows when children hear kindness named out loud.

Sometimes teachers wait for children to say “thank you” on their own, but appreciation develops when we slow down enough to help children notice what just happened.

“Did you see how your friend helped you clean up?”

“That was kind when you made space for her to sit.”

“You look happy. What did your friend do?”

When we name those moments, children begin to recognize them. Over time, they start using that language themselves. Not because they were told to, but because they begin to understand how their actions affect others.

Appreciation also builds voice.

When children learn to express gratitude, they learn that their words matter. They learn that their voice can make someone else feel seen. And in early childhood, that is a powerful foundation for friendship and community.

It doesn’t have to be formal. In fact, it works best when it isn’t. A short sharing moment during circle time, a quick reflection before dismissal, or simply pausing to acknowledge kindness during play is often enough.

The goal isn’t perfect words. The goal is awareness.

When appreciation becomes part of the classroom culture, children begin to look for kindness instead of conflict. They begin to notice each other differently. And that shift changes the feeling of the whole room.

In the end, appreciation is less about manners and more about connection.

And connection is where learning feels safe.

What This Means for Educators

In early childhood, children learn more from what we model than from what we say.

If we want children to express appreciation, they first have to see and hear it in the environment around them. When educators acknowledge effort, notice kindness, and express gratitude in everyday moments, children begin to understand what appreciation looks and sounds like.

Modeling appreciation does not require extra time or special activities. It happens in small moments, thanking a child for helping, recognizing cooperation between friends, or simply pausing to name something positive that just happened.

Over time, children begin to mirror what they experience. They learn that appreciation is not just a polite response, but a way of recognizing others and building connection.

What educators take from this is simple: when appreciation becomes part of how we speak and interact, children learn to carry that language into their friendships, their play, and their classroom community.

Children learn appreciation by seeing appreciation lived out around them.